Predictions Week 9

Each week, on Friday, I will look into my (never wrong, just misinformed) crystal ball and give my predictions for that weekend games. I will always prognosticate on the Eagles and Cowboys games and then pick two more games of interest (to me, that is, not necessarily to you). Keep in mind, that this is for entertainment purposes only, and that I do not endorse any sort of legal or illegal gambling. That being said…let’s see what’s in my crystal ball!

Last week the newly acquired crystal ball went 3-1…not bad for its debut! I am now just 4 games under .500, but filled with confidence as we move forward. I am hoping for many more winning weeks down the road as this new crystal ball gains more experience. It’s calling me…so let’s see what it has to say:

Last Week: 3-1

Overall: 10-14

Dallas @ New York Giants: The Cowboys are coming off a huge win against the Bucs and the G-Men are riding high after their big win against the Steelers. The Cowboys are riddled with injuries and may be without Jason Witten (ribs) as he is a game-time decision. The G-Men will use play-action pass plays early and often to test the depleted and inexperienced secondary of the ‘Boys. Then, the G-Men will pound the rock with Jacobs to close out the game. The Brad “noodle arm” Johnson led Cowboys don’t stand a chance in this one…I hope the crystal ball is wrong! New York Giants 34, Dallas 13.

Philadelphia @ Seattle: The Birds are flapping their wings with confidence, as Westbrook is once again healthy. Look For D-Mac to have a field day passing to rookie sensation DeSean “fraction” Jackson. Westbrook will be a major contributor as well. The Seahawks only chance is to ride the back of Julius Jones, but that’s not going to be enough as Seneca Wallace will show why he should be holding a clipboard and not masquerading as an NFL QB! Philadelphia 27, Seattle 17.

New England @ Indianapolis: The Colts are on play-off life support…can they get off the respirator? Yes! The Peyton Manning led Colts will be in full force this Sunday night in primetime. Being at home will lift the spirits of an unemotional, uninspired team thus far. The Pats have been getting by without Brady, but look for Matt Cassel to come back down to Earth and throw a pick-6 in desperation late in the game. Indianapolis 31, New England 17.

Tampa Bay @ Kansas City: Jon Gruden, and his many “chucky” faces, is still fuming over last weeks’ loss to the Cowboys. Look for Garcia to bounce back and have a great game against the lifeless Chiefs. Herm Edwards’ job is on the line, but the Larry Johnson-less Chiefs are no match for the Bucs. This game will be over by halftime, so make sure you have plenty of snacks for the second half. Tampa Bay 34, Kansas City 13.


Short Shots:


Larry Johnson of the Kansas City Chiefs will be deactivated for the 3rd week in a row. Sheriff Goodell has also officially suspended him for one game, which will be served week 10. LJ…consider it a blessing that the Sheriff showed leniency towards you…it’s time to get your life in order!

Rumor has it that the Cowboys will use Brooks Bollinger in some situations against the G-Men. Also look for Patrick Crayton to be the wingback in the "wildcat" formation…just a hunch! They might as well try anything and everything as the G-Men are too much for the injury plagued Cowboys!

Peyton Manning…enough already! Just beat the Pat-cheat-iots!

The Phillies Parade was a blast…let’s just hope it doesn’t take another 28 years for another one!